Counseling Services

Helping a Friend

Signs of Distress

Signs of Distress | Your Response | Consultation with a Therapist

Signs of Distress:
Look for and beware of any of the following signs of distress:

• Inability to concentrate, confusion, indecisiveness.
• Persistent worrying.
• Social isolation, depression.
• Increased irritability, restlessness.
• Bizarre or dangerous behavior, mood swings.
• Missed class/ assignments, procrastination.
• Messy appearance.
• Sleeping too much or too little.

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Your Response:
Involve yourself only as far as you are willing to go. At times, in an attempt to reach or help a troubled friend, you may become more involved than time or skill permits. It is important to know the boundaries and limitations of your intervention. If you decide to take action, you should follow these guidelines when approaching your friend.

• Talk to him or her in private. This could help reduce embarrassment and defensiveness.
• Openly acknowledge that you are aware of their distress.
• Speak directly and honestly and acknowledge you are sincerely concerned about their welfare and are willing to help them explore their alternatives.
• Strange or inappropriate behavior should not be ignored. Comment directly on what you have observed.
• Listen carefully to what your friend is troubled about and try to see the issue from his/her point of view without necessarily agreeing or disagreeing.
• Attempt to succinctly identify the problem or concern and explore alternatives to deal with the problem.
• Refer to Counseling Services or outside professional help when appropriate. Inform them that seeing the counselor does not mean they have some mental disorder. The counselor can help them identify what’s causing the problem and figure out ways to cope and get back on track. 

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Consultation with a Therapist:
If you are unsure of how to handle a situation with a friend or family member who is a student at Aurora University, we encourage you to consult with Marcia Hanlon, Director of Counseling Services. Call Counseling Services at 630-844-5416 (or 5416 on campus). A brief consultation may help you sort out the relevant issues, explore alternative approaches, and identify other resources. If Marcia is in session, leave a message identifying your situation  and your relationship to the person you are concerned about. She will contact you as soon as possible.

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